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Christian Weston Chandler
Christian Weston Chandler Christian Weston Chandler (born Christopher Weston Chandler on 24 February 1982, and currently Christine Weston Chandler) is ahigh-functioning adult autistic child, thirty-two-year-old, former virgin with rage, and creator of the infamous Sonichu, a crossover of Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu. Christian also stars alongside his original creations in his own self-titled online comic book. His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic Sonichu into a hit media franchise and his Love Quest to obtain a "boyfriend-free, 18-[my current age]-year old, caring, smoke-free, non-alcoholic white girl" to make into a "sweetheart from the ground-up." In late 2007, he became Internet-famous when he caught the attention of 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade Sonichu medallion in public, his childlike artwork featuring his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in public places while literally holding up a sign asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him. Overview Chris is a timid, autistic man with delusional tendencies who has been allowed - by his parents, Bob Chandler and Barbara Chandler - to eternally live like a child, amassing toys and video games into a single room in his parents' house. Now thirty-two years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society, such as bathing regularly, not loitering in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you, and using the bathroom if you think you may soiled yourself. Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Christian to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady job, or even been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. Nor has he had many meaningful relationships with people in a social setting. Christian's main impressions of people now come from the trolls and white knights he meets online. Chris is completely obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February 2004 and March 2010, Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his driver's license photoand to his college graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason Nintendo, Sega, and Sony haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in September 2010. Chris used to absolutely hate gay men, and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's pickle, and he stares at a Sailor Moon poster to keep himself straight.5 Chris' words do not always align with his actions; he appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He hasswallowed his own semen, wears a bra, and only reins in his tendency to proudly cross-dress because his elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of Family Guy.6 However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partly encourages" and is even aroused by. Chris Today By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated fans, sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and naïveté readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "sagas" such as the MiyamotoSaga, the Julie Saga, the Ivy Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the Asperchu Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history. Hello, ladies! Chris in 2010. Following his disastrous failure to woo a real girl in March 2010, Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic Internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and clown shirts. In November 2010, around the same time another romantic saga involving another sweetheart ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in August 2011. Chris in 2011, near the time of his father's death. Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In 2011, Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "tomgirl", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below). In September 2011, Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the tugboat is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account. Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, striped-shirted egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering china are over. Chris in 2012. In October 2011, Chris and Barb were arrested at The GAMe PLACe and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with Michael Snyder. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer. Chris in 2013. In April 2012, Chris declared that he finally lost his virginity. This was later confirmed to be true...at the hands of a prostitute. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with the law. 2013 saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on Facebook and Twitter, as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from one of his favorite shows, upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a Wal-Mart for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health (this, at least, is evident) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him - he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize. The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior. Chris in 2014, his long, lank, thin hair receding in earnest. At first, it seemed that 2014 would just be business as usual. That is, until January 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from him, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of his garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to him setting his own house on fire. Luckily, no one (animal or human) was seriously harmed, although the resulting damages have forced him and his mother to temporarily move out and trash a different house. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's vast hoard of stupid shit. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions would have been destroyed, including his huge record collection. Since then, Chris and his mother have been having acute financial difficulties, and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of his horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of narcissism, selling autographed photos of himself on eBay (you can guess who most of his patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literal thousands of dollars on children's toys. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give him hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that he may finally be forced to face a situation his mother can't bail him out of, and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. Or not. Chris, as he enters 2015. More curiously, Chris began identifying as a lesbian in August 2014, and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (very reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of ducks in general. In July, Chris claimed to have a girlfriend. Needless to say, many doubted it would last, of which they were accurate. As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur. In early November, it was confirmed that his latest sweetheart was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of his unappreciated abettors, who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating him in July. This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris broke three laws in one outing to GameStop on Boxing Day. His main offense was assaulting an employee who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed himself in this time, but given his current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but himself for this mess, which isn't to say he won't try. In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring him with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart.